Monday, December 21, 2015


Last year at this time, Colton (aka Elder Stock) told me how excited he was for 2015 since it would mark the year he would only be serving the Lord. I joined in his excitement and tried to imagine the wonderful things that would unfold. By February, I was shocked to find that 2015 would be a notable year for me too. Since then, I have spent countless hours in prayer, at the temple, reading scriptures, The Proclamation, and General Conferences talks. I've been blessed to have family to listen, encourage and love me. I've cried so many tears and tried and tried to come up with a plan that would have things work out the way I've always wanted them too. But I couldn't. Finally, I accepted what I knew was the right path for my life. Once the choice was made and carried out, something flooded back into my life...........


Soon, I will be divorced. It's a title I never wanted, but I have found that this title isn't defining. Who and what I am tell the story more than my marital status. I believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have always relied and leaned on my Savior and Heavenly Father, but this year has elevated this devotion and need. I have faced situations that terrified me and on one very dark day I heard the still, small voice whisper "Let go. and I will build you up again." I'm so thankful for the strength to follow that voice. My fear left and I realized that I can go forward, in any situation.

I have also been the recipient of so much love from family, friends, ward members, and co-workers. Everyone has shared the faith they have in me and it has strengthened me. I've tried so hard to be strong for my children and give them the best. They in return have added to my strength. They are amazing and learning to rely on the Lord as well.

Two days after my life changed in February, I wrote this in my journal.

I know who I am. I understand the atonement more and know that I'll understand it more next year. I trust in my Father and Savior. I know these things shall pass and one day I will return to them. The only thing that is in my control: Who will I be by then. I will continue in a path of righteousness. I will seek first the kingdom of God. I will love. I will hope. I will not fear. I will have faith. I will grow and be strengthened despite the sorrow. I will move forward. I know that I fear God more than man now. I will continue to seek His words and understanding. I will love and not hate. I will find goodness not bitterness. I will partake of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that time will pass, bills will get paid, and God will answer prayers. I know that He is mindful of me and my family. He comforts me and will continue to comfort me. He loves me. He lives!

May you all have a very blessed Christmas and remember our Savior who gives us HOPE.
Artwork by Jenedy Paige