Soon, I will be divorced. It's a title I never wanted, but I have found that this title isn't defining. Who and what I am tell the story more than my marital status. I believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have always relied and leaned on my Savior and Heavenly Father, but this year has elevated this devotion and need. I have faced situations that terrified me and on one very dark day I heard the still, small voice whisper "Let go. and I will build you up again." I'm so thankful for the strength to follow that voice. My fear left and I realized that I can go forward, in any situation.
I have also been the recipient of so much love from family, friends, ward members, and co-workers. Everyone has shared the faith they have in me and it has strengthened me. I've tried so hard to be strong for my children and give them the best. They in return have added to my strength. They are amazing and learning to rely on the Lord as well.
Two days after my life changed in February, I wrote this in my journal.
I know who I am. I understand the atonement more and know that I'll understand it more next year. I trust in my Father and Savior. I know these things shall pass and one day I will return to them. The only thing that is in my control: Who will I be by then. I will continue in a path of righteousness. I will seek first the kingdom of God. I will love. I will hope. I will not fear. I will have faith. I will grow and be strengthened despite the sorrow. I will move forward. I know that I fear God more than man now. I will continue to seek His words and understanding. I will love and not hate. I will find goodness not bitterness. I will partake of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that time will pass, bills will get paid, and God will answer prayers. I know that He is mindful of me and my family. He comforts me and will continue to comfort me. He loves me. He lives!
May you all have a very blessed Christmas and remember our Savior who gives us HOPE.
Artwork by Jenedy Paige