KYLER'S SWIM REPORT CARD

Kyler just had a month of swim lessons with Gilbert Parks and Rec. I was very happy we were able to get into something since he has never had lessons and should learn. So my friend emailed me the class she was putting her son in and I enrolled Kyler as well. I didn't think about skill level and found out that Kyler should start out in "shrimps" and then move up to the "otter" class that his friend was in. This was fine with me, but made Kyler sooooooo angry! He wanted to be with Kevin! It was a very sore subject around our home and I talked with Kyler many times about it. Kyler took matters into his own hands and charmed his way into the "otter" class without actually improving any swim skills. So his swim report card should not have surprised us. The first comment was "Great Kid" then "Great Improvement" and then the recommendation for the next class to enroll him in was "Shrimps". This makes me curious, how do you show "great improvement" and move BACK a class. The next thing I think of are my cousins blogs. The ones with great current photos (this photo of Kyler is not from this summer, it's from last summer - at SeaWorld in San Antonio to be exact) of their kids swimming - actual, real swim strokes. How can I let them know that my kid also takes lessons - and has been held back despite his "great improvement". I then open the report card to find 15 skills that can be checked off. My child has ONE checked off. Safety skills is apparently all my child has accomplished. That's right - (drumroll) - HE CAN GRAB THE SIDE OF THE POOL!!! Well, maybe I'm a little prejudiced, but I think my child should have more than ONE checkmark. So I've made a list of skills that Kyler would have earned a checkmark for.
Showed up every day - CHECK
Eyes are as blue as the water - CHECK
Swim shirt always coordinated with swim trunks - CHECK
Had at least one day where he did not scream and cry at swim lesson - CHECK
Is blond and looks like he could be a swimmer - CHECK
Consistantly plugs his nose two minutes before he goes under the water - CHECK
Can go a whole lesson without getting his hair wet - CHECK
After being placed in the pool screaming, managed to grab mother's ankle almost tripping her face first on the cooldeck - CHECK
Able to escape swim instructor and grab dad as he was walking back to his seat - CHECK
Required his own lifeguard to place him in the middle of the pool so he could not reach any other child, instructor, parent, rope or side of pool - CHECK
Look at that - 10 checkmarks!!! Kyler sure did great this summer!
(oh, I am so embarrassed)